I love movement. I love that it's always been part of me. Over my life, I’ve been a dancer, cheerleader, fitness class teacher, personal trainer, kickboxer, runner, yogi, yoga instructor, and collegiate rower.
I believe that movement is sacred. I know it in my bones.
I also know that many things are profoundly broken in:
Our collective culture of movement, exercise, and beyond
The mainstream fitness “industry”
Our tenuous personal relationships with body and movement
I’ve had harsh experiences in sport and fitness. That’s no surprise when living in our culture. Like many of us immersed in the attitudes, intentions, and language of fitness (and sport), I’ve been told:
“To get a bikini body, you need to do more crunches.”
“You were never meant to row crew.”
“You don’t have a ballerina body; try contemporary dance instead”
“Don’t kid yourself, cheerleading isn’t a real sport.”
“Yoga is making you soft.”
I walked away from Jack’s SoulCycle class, thinking: “Oh woman, this is more than enough grist for your book.”
A few weeks later, I saw his name in a Business Insider magazine article: "SoulCycle's top instructors had sex with clients, 'fat-shamed' coworkers, and used homophobic and racist language[1].”
The fitness industry glorifies and enforces idealized body shapes[2] and skin colors[3].
Did anyone complain or fight back? Did the company listen? Apparently not. A member told Business Insider: "Soul Cycle kind of turned the cheek on a lot of stuff as long as they were making money[4]." Might that explain why, four years later, one of those instructors berated me for being “new” to Soul Cycle?
How does the fitness industry respond to “top” instructors engaging in outrageous and abusive behavior? SoulCycle appears to respond by employing and rewarding them.
It’s no wonder that fitness toxicity infects our relationships with exercise.
When I examine the messages on SoulCycle’s walls, I’m grateful that the company is so frank, direct, and brazen about their intentions. They’re unashamed about wanting us “addicted, obsessed and unnaturally attached to our bikes.”
How readily we trust their tiniest assertions. We’re pedaling our bike, right? No. It’s their bike. But anyaddiction, obsession and unnatural attachment is all ours.
Some fitness brands are less bold or transparent. They take a more furtive path to lead us toward obsessive exercise (and unfailing payments). They prefer that weoverlook the ways we’re groomed for unnatural attachments to exercise.
Everyday “fitness industry” trains us to disconnect from ourselves, buy the belief that we know less about our bodies than instructors do—while giving them our money, time, and attention. “Fitness industry” values may also train us to tolerate and excuse forms of abuse.
“Whoa!!!! Hang on a minute, Maria,” you may be thinking. “That’s over the top.”
I get it. It’s difficult and painful for many of us to discuss these things. Many of us have/had some good experiences and relationships in fitness facilities. That includes times when we’ve felt people accept, include, and believe in us.
When contemplating the fitness industry, I remember my positive experiences. In response, I sometimes feel angry, threatened, and afraid of being left out. I feel the urge to deny and wish away all the problems.
At the same time, I fervently wish for a fitness industry we can trust to foster us without harm; one where we can belong safely.
I also understand how difficult and painful it may be to read these blogs. We may feel judged or insulted; that our beliefs are disrespected or threatened. We may adamantly resist the notion that an instructor is abusive or manipulative—rather than bright, spiritual, and inherently admirable. And, perhaps, we can’t imagine life without our fitness tribe.
For instance, let’s consider the affirming, positive sensations and feedback we may get while exercising and playing sports. Psychology calls these Ego-syntonic experiences; ones that incorporate thoughts, wishes, impulses, and behaviors that are compatible with our ego or conscious self-concept[i]. Do you notice how these are all components of relationships?
When we’re in balanced, nourishing, and natural relationships, we feel good!
We can also feel good when we’re in disordered and addictive relationships.
The result of ego-syntonic experiences depend on our relationship with those feel-good experiences.
For instance, snorting cocaine or drinking to excess will produce ego-syntonic experiences.
In fitness environments, harmful ego-syntonic jolts might come when:
We earn accolades for spending time exercising than we do with people who love us
Healthcare providers, gym instructors, and society proclaim that all exercise is good–and that more is always better
We feel that “too much” exercise is not enough
Even though we are injured, we still exercise
We “overcome” our withdrawal symptoms with more exercise
Guess what? Ego-syntonic experiences don’t have to harm ourselves or others.
How? By practicing nourishing relationships with movement, fitness, exercise, and sport. We can cultivate Ego-syntonic experiences in many environments, including home, the gym, and in sports.
This means practicing embodied, mindful, and balanced relationships with movement.
PLEASE note the word practicing. Humans cannot perfect relationships. We can experience the gift of practicing how we relate to people, places, and things.
The practice of nourishing relationships tends to give us
Affirming, positive sensations and feedback
Joy
Energy
Life force
Connection with our body
Connection with community, environment, and the world around us
A more regulated nervous system
Wellbeing
I worked for many years in sports nutrition and fitness environments. I eventually chose to walk away from those professions and embark on a different journey.
Today, I have the privilege of working with people who have exercise and/or eating disorders. My colleagues and I help them to regain compassionate, nourishing, and balanced relationships with their movement, bodies, and spirits.
My lived experience and my current profession continue to motivate and inform my conviction to change fitness culture.
Fortunately, my lived experience and conviction to change fitness culture keep motivating and informing my current profession.
One thing remains clear: Exercising in addictive ways is a soulless cycle.
Next time, we’ll explore the fitness industry’s relationship with us.
[1]Warren, Katie (2020). "SoulCycle's top instructors had sex with clients, 'fat-shamed' coworkers, and used homophobic and racist language." Business Insider, 11/17/2024. https://www.businessinsider.com/soulcycle-instructors-celebrities-misbehavior-2020-11. (Accessed 7/28/2024).
[2]Brown, D. M., Muir, C., & Gammage, K. L. (2023). Muscle Up: Male Athletes’ and Non-Athletes’ Psychobiological Responses to, and Recovery From, Body Image Social-Evaluative Threats. American Journal of Men's Health, 17(1), 15579883231155089.
[3]"She Said Equinox Fired Her for Being a Black Woman. A Jury Agreed." By Ginia Bellafante. The New York Times, Section MB, P. 3. May 26, 2023. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/26/nyregion/equinox-settlement-discrimination.html. (Accessed 5/27/2023).
[4]See Warren, Katie (2020) above.
[5]APA Dictionary of Psychology (2018). Ego-syntonic, definition. American Psychological Association, Washington, DC. https://dictionary.apa.org/ego-syntonic. (Accessed Sept. 4, 2024.)